Ever stop to consider that even though we have moved on from something in our past, maybe someone else that was involved has not? It makes me think what kind of ripples we put into the world, Who we touch or who is affected by what we have said or done.
Growing up i remember my family being this super big, super happy family that was always in every one's business.Which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. But one thing led to another and "that" family was now split into two opposing sides. I remember having so much anger towards all of the adults because even as a child i could see how foolish it was. I asked my grandmother one Sunday during church, 'What would it take to get our family back together? One of us getting SERIOUSLY hurt?' Low and behold that's exactly what it took, Two of my aunts were in a serious car accident that left all of us in shock and awe. The end result was we had our family reunited but one of us was now a quadriplegic. years went by, but not so smoothly as before. There were some bumps and some bruising.
After turning 18 and getting married, i figured i didn't have to take all the bullshit from my elders that i didn't want to take, because, by God, i was now an adult too. When i had it out with one of my aunts and then tried to apologize during a family function, i was more then shocked to see the result of my actions. She was pissed and wasn't hearing nor would she even considered letting me talk, that's when i finally knew what kind of people i DIDN'T want in my life. So after being harassed and emotionally battered, I cut her out of my life, i just stopped talking to her, or even involving her in my life. I saw what kind of person she truly was, i watched her belittle my parents, her own sister and reduce my sister to tears more then once, i tried to convince people she wasn't nice, but they didn't always want to see that. Most people don't want or look for the bad in there own family members, I mean, why should we? We are taught that family doesn't harm you, they heal you. Well truth be told, that's not always how it is.
Moving on...
My family is once again on opposing sides. there has been many MANY hurtful things said about people, and yet, no one has yet to settle the arguement. We sit and wait for another email or another phone call filled with yelling and screaming about how horrible people we all are, and yet this comes from family! I can only say, how disappointed i am at the idea that my family could do such a thing, I expect this type of crap from MY HUSBANDS family but not my own. My whole family claims to be Christan and yet some of them use the bible to justify all the bad things they do. I am no ones judge but What i can be sure of, is that above all things is morally wrong. I have been accused of being a horrible person and using people as my own personal punching bag. I will be the first one in line to tell you my anger is a fiery one. I know how to wield words like knives, But i can say without a shadow of a doubt that i have NEVER personally harassed someone every chance i got.
Where would you be if you didn't have a support system? Whether that be family, a spouse, a friend, or even a child. We would be no where because Someone has to pick you up when you fall, because there are times when we all fall so constantly that we don't want to rise back up, and its those people that we count on to pick us up when we refuse to ourselves.
through all of this I have learned, Not always will the ENTIRE family be there to pick you up. And you know what, I think i'm okay with that.
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