Hello,God?

There comes a time in everyone's life where it just sucks. Plain and simple theres no happy or silver lining to it. Where do you go? well, now what?
Do you give up your desires for the things maybe more important or do you be selfish and say hell no.

I in my short little life havent figured it out yet. That wisdom has not been imparted to me yet, maybe because my realitives want me to learn on my own.LOL. who knows. Maybe god is teaching me a lesson. When i am facing it, i am stuck between a rock and a hard place, im at a fork and have nowhere to turn. Sometimes i wish my mommy was still making the desicions for me it was SOO much easier, Life was easier when your biggest hurt was a skinned body part, not so much a broken heart.

Knowing that my next step in life will inevidably break my heart, makes me just want to stick my head in the sand and stand with my ass in the air and say KISS IT! im staying PUT! But my entire life i was no where near cowardness, i was the one saying bring it on! now..well not so much..God has a way of working in those emotions and attitudes you were lacking...like my willingness to compromise.

I am an impatient person, i know it and so does everyone else! I wish i could have god on speed dial and say hey i need the details about whats coming next if i make this decision or that one. Kinda like those choose your own adventure books, except when you dont like your adventure you can turn back the page. I hated those books. You know the saying the light at the end of the tunnel? yah, well if i could i would drive to the end see whats in the light and then drive all the way back to take the journey, that is if i liked the result. if not, i would park my car and say you all can suck it. not uh. no why, no how. Of course im sure god would get me to move eventually. He always does. Hes funny like that, and im sure all of my eufamisims give him quite the amount of laughter.

Now that im done moaning and groaning for the most part. What do you do?
Im not so sure yet..better luck next time

Till then.

A *Cheshire* Cat.

When in life you are faced with difficult decisions, What do we do? We face it and conquer it or we turn a blind eye. But, what if this decision could have the opportunity to better your life? My husband has had his eye set on being in the military since he was young. I had my eye on the navy ever since middle school. Getting married and being a mom changed my want for the military, but my husbands didn't waver. So as a wife and a mom when faced with a tough decision to give your blessing for something that could potentially advance your life, give you national travel and stability for your family, and yet also has the potential to be deadly. What do we do?

I look to god and my family(of course!) A bible verse that i found kinda explains it.


Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man lays a snare,
but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.


You can be absolutely POSITIVE that I'm terrified that my husband wont come back if he is sent into 'dangerous zones'. Before him you couldn't have even thought about conquering, penetrating, or climbing the wall i had built around myself and my emotions, but with him its different, probably as it should be. I don't have walls with him, i am so vulnerable, i don't have my safety net or my walls and to let go of something so precious is terrifying and brings me to tears every time i think about it. It also doesn't help that I'm a control freak. lol. :) I haven't always been the best at laying my problems down at gods feet and trusting in him but im getting better, as we all are. We are constantly learning. God has taught me, sometimes the BEST of life and what it can bring you doesn't and can't be achieved if you have the reigns. I'm pretty sure god god has had a lot of good laughs over me, i tend to get caught in my own snares when I'm being stubborn and telling God 'No....No! i don't need your help! what were you thinking! i can do it all by myself! thanks anyways' as he watches me get caught and me kinda looking up and saying 'alright,you were right! Fine, I'm sorry. PLEEEAAASSSSSEEEE get me outta here! And like always god extends his hand and helps his kids out. Hes pretty dependable like that :) God has a way of showing you things whether you want to see them or not, so a little advice open your eyes preferably before you fall down the rabbit hole!


my family has said it must be talked about between us to, but what if you don't know where to go? You sit in silence and let it do the talking. Some of the hardest problems can be helped with just simple silence.

Going on my second year of marriage, i have learned that even at the worst times and with my heart shattered by the one i love, he is my Forever.


So as it stands now. Im probably,kinda,maybe contiplating(not thinking!) one of the most complex,difficult, big decisions of my life.

Until next time..