Should I or Shouldn't I?

Do you ever feel like there is always someone right there telling you that you should change who you are, how you deal with things, how you react..ect? How do you react? Do you Yell and Scream or do you bite your tongue and let it roll off your back? Im probably the first, although im constantly told i should bite my tongue. Seems like i've been hearing that advice since i was born. When i was little i would pray to god and ask for him to 'take away' my anger and my horrible attitude because growing up in multiple churches, That was the consensus. Not that i just needed to tone it down, but that it was unacceptable and that i needed to change who i was entirly. Morph into this sweet, quiet, unobstructing, good mannered child/teen/adult. What i came to find out as i grew up and out of the closed minded-ness of churches, is that i was 1. going threw a horrible case of teenage rebellion disease, but 2. that i am and will never or could ever change the fact that i am a blunt person. Not only am i that, but i have never been one to close my mouth, mind or both for that matter when i dont agree or i see an injustice. Now let me clarify, you can be a bitch and be blunt or you can be a lady with class and be blunt. Southerner women do it all the time, you just learn how to do it with a smile and a sprinkle of class. I am currently battling a round of people telling me how i should be, how i should think, how i should act and do things. I have yet to say anything to anyone, so i guess you should say im adapting to the latter that i referenced in the beginning. Its hard.

Im not going to lie, I am struggling and struggling hard, theres not a doubt in my mind. I am struggling with a multitude of things not just what i have written tonight. But as i sit at my dinning room table and ponder theres a nagging question thats left, should i follow my grandmothers advice and let it roll off of me, or should i say something. Undoubtingly there will be talk and hurt feelings and a mess that comes with the drama or i could avoid it all and just shut my trap.


Being stuck between a rock and a hard place blows.

Until later..